"Only A Star"

I picked this book up at the library and found it to be beautiful. It shows both the wonder and simplicity of the nativity scene. It respects the very humble beginnings of Jesus' birth. This is the text:

"What were the trimmings that first Christmas morning? What brightened the stable to welcome the Child?
Only a Star.
But it glittered on dewdrops and turned them to diamonds. Spidery threads became ribbons of silk.
Even the hay in the hard, wooden manger gleamed satin soft surrounding the Babe.
A dragonfly hovered on wings of clear crystal, scattering the light in a rainbow of gems.
A scurrying scarab caught in the starglow added an emerald to trim the Child's bed.
Doves preened feathers drifted, like guardian angels on watch overhead.
Tired form its journey, a donkey stood silent. Its worn bell glowed like gold for a King.
Three chubby jerboas danced in the starlight--a ritual of joy for this Holy day.
A snail left a trail that glittered like tinsel. Dust sparkled in banners of heavenly light.
Cradled by down in the nest of a nightingale, eggs became ornaments made for this birth.
What trimmed the stable that first Christmas morning?
Only a Star, but it dazzled the earth."

For some reason, the illustrations and the beautiful text brought tears to my eyes. It paints that scene so beautifully. And to think, this is a book for children.

cold

On days like today there is one thought that runs through my mind constantly.
Alaskans...seriously.....what the *** is the matter with you???
This vexes me.

Just a quick thought

I love the song Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
For some reason the line "Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow" always gets me.
My sister gave me a c.d. with that song on it in 2002, when I first found out she was pregnant with A. I listened to it after she flew back to Connecticut and I remember I just felt so sad when I heard that one line.
But I love it now, because she lives about a mile away. :) And our Christmases are usually together. :)

Happiness

I have been thinking about happiness a lot lately. I had a rough October. I’m not sure what was affecting me the most, but the entire month was rough for me. I felt discouraged, bored, frustrated, and even depressed at times, and just couldn’t seem to get out of the funk I was in. I kept asking myself why I wasn’t happy. I have a wonderful family, a beautiful home, and my girls are healthy, happy, and smart. Why wasn’t I happy?

I eventually got out of the funk, but not without a fear of returning there. I started to dread not being happy, so I busied myself with activities with the girls, planning for Christmas, joining facebook to occupy my time, and taking about 1,000 trips to different playgrounds. I was swinging the pendulum too far in the opposite direction.

From the two extremes, I found that neither was what I wanted. I didn’t want to try to be happy all the time. It’s exhausting. It’s like trying to keep a high tide from receding. I’ve found a relatively comfortable place the last few weeks: contentment. It’s not happiness, and it’s not depression. It’s just accepting what is.

It seems society wants us to believe that we should always be happy. And if we aren’t, we should change something. God help you if you’re not bursting with excitement for every minute of the Christmas season. I find that pressure to be unrealistic and foolish. And it inevitably leads to disappointment. The more I try to be happy, the unhappier I am.

I like to think of happiness as a tide. It ebbs and flows. Yes, high tide is nice, but it can’t last forever. Those that try to fight against it; those that try to keep the high going, only end up disappointed. I’ve come to realize that we need the down times. And we need to be content in them. I’ve had a few days this past week that have been less than ideal. But I don’t feel stressed about it anymore. I don’t feel like I need to fight for happiness. Simple contentment is a comfortable place to be.

This Christmas, I’m not going to try to make the day perfect. I’m not going to stress over making my children the happiest they can be. If there are down moments on Christmas Day, it’s not going to bother me. I want a real life, not a picture-perfect one.

My girls

Here are my girls during our season's first snow fall. I love my babies.

Adler Part II

Here are some pictures from the planetarium. D took some pictures on his phone, so they're not the greatest quality.

Adler

Both girls loved the Adler Planetarium. E really wants to be an astronaut when she grows up. She wanted to be a zoo vet, but Saturn was just too appealing for her.

But seriously, both girls really loved it, and I'm glad we went.

And, in true Sheeran form, we forgot our camera. Ugh.

I loved watching their faces. Sweet little space explorers.

...

Good news: the girls and I made rock candy today!!!

Bad news: we were trying to make rice krispie treats.

You know it's a good day when....

Christmas season

Our grocery store is decorated for Christmas. And one of our radio stations has been playing all Christmas music since last week. Is there really anyone out there that LIKES that much overkill?

Well, I guess retailers do. People hear Christmas music and see giant candy canes hanging from lamp posts, and they just have this irresistible urge to go Christmas shopping. And several people I know have just finished their Christmas shopping. Coincidence? I think not. My dear friends were sucked in by the visceral pull of Johnny Mathis and inflatable reindeer the size of small RVs. Wouldn't you be? ;)

One thing's for sure: Black Friday is a day I will stay tucked inside my house. I picture it like the stores are dangling little pieces of meat for their oh-so-hungry consumers, knowing that if they advertise it as a "huge sale" people will fight over it. People who were complaining about paying the phone bill will fight with other adults over a 60" plasma t.v. But it's on sale!!!!!! You can (somehow) save by spending!!!!!

Funny related side story: D and I went to Payless Shoes a few years ago because D needed some new brown shoes or something. We went to the check-out counter.

Woman behind the counter: "You know, it's buy one get one half off. You should get another pair of shoes."
D: "No thanks. We don't need another pair."
Woman: "But you can save by spending."
D: "But we'd still be spending more. We can save more by NOT spending."
Woman: "Well you obviously don't work in retail."
D: "No. No, I don't."

We still laugh about that to this day. That woman really thought we were stupid. We just didn't 'get it.'

One more thing: D knows I hate the holiday station on the radio (at least until mid-December, when I'll be singing along with everyone else), and I swear he intentionally leaves it on that station after he drives it EVERY TIME. I started the car to go to the grocery store yesterday and what do you know--Johnny Mathis blasted out.
:) It made me laugh.

Lovely days

The weather's been up to about 70 degrees this weekend. We just played outside and had a blast. :)
That's all there is to say.

To My Child

I didn't write this, but I love it:

To My Child


Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to her bus stop, of course!! :) E got to wear her costume to school today for their Halloween parade and party.
I don't think I've ever seen a chicken actually cross a road before, so this was a real treat for me. I would have posted an action "in the road" shot, but it came out blurry.




Also in Sheeran news: K and I are totally sick. Probably the flu since we have fevers, coughs, body aches and chills. I feel pretty lousy and have had a constant headache for 12 hours now, despite multiple doses of medicine. You know when you are just dying to feel normal again? That's how I feel right now. If I wake up tomorrow feeling great, I'll be the happiest girl in the world.

Stupid Halloween

I'll be brutally honest: I don't like Halloween. It's pointless. Yes, the kids get to dress up, but my girls do every day. And what is it really for? It's far and away the most confused "holiday" of the year. People decorate their houses with fake skeletons, bats, spiders, and pumpkins cut into pieces, then get dressed up as random characters from t.v. shows or movies and wear the skimpiest material known to man out in 40 degree weather to go collect free candy. ??? So in the spirit of things (get it??), K will be a giant chicken and E will be Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Maybe I'll have some fun by putting a sign on K that says "I'm an unhealthy over-fed, genetically modified future chicken nugget." :) At least I'd get some enjoyment out of Halloween that way. I'll then send them out into the freezing cold with D to collect their candy that I will eventually throw away.
Meanwhile, I'll be answering the doorbell every two minutes while Scout barks NON-STOP, handing out candy to kids who always ask "Why can't we have three?!?!" I don't care if I sound like a grump when I say this: I hope it rains on Halloween.
On another note, we had beautiful weather over the weekend. Here are some pictures of the girls riding their bikes in the driveway. :)

Video of K dancing

I love watching my babies dance. :) They're cute.

For Danielle

I didn't take the picture from the front, because that would be too obvious. :) But that's a giant inflatable on their lawn. The truck shows scale.

***picture removed***

(sigh)

Feeling a bit stretched thin. I found myself looking for houses in Montana, just so I could look at their views.
Click here to view one of my favorites: Montana house

I can just smell the air there. Kind of sweet and cold.

Or this one: Montana house 2

Can you imagine looking out your family room window and seeing that?

Suburbia is yucky. You forget about the REAL world. You forget that without subdivisions and malls the size of small towns, our country can actually be beautiful. Our town has great things for our kids, including an excellent park district, lots of friends close by, and decent schools. But I miss seeing nature. It's deadening. The most "natural" things you'll find here are the landscaped berms in front of Walmart.

We need a vacation from the suburbs. Away from the giant inflatable Halloween display on our neighbor's lawn. Good lord that is the ugliest, stupidest thing I have EVER seen.

K in 2006

Another oldie, this time just from 2006 (K). I love her eyes...can you tell? Click on them to see them bigger. :)

D

E had her kindergarten picture taken yesterday. We obviously won't see it for awhile, so instead of her picture, here is D's kindergarten picture:



If I saw this child on a street, I would abduct him.

P-O-T

K read the word pot today. That's the first word she's ever read. :)
In honor, here's a 2006 picture of wee K:

Apple Holler

We drove up to Sturtevant, Wisconsin today to go to Apple Holler. No story necessary, the pictures are good enough. :) We also went to the outlet malls in Pleasant Prairie, and the Mars Cheese Castle. :)
**YOU CAN CLICK ON ANY PICTURE TO VIEW THEM LARGER**

Life as a mom

My girls are watching a movie right now with popcorn and juice (a rare event in this house), and they are content and happy. They're sitting in a pile of blankets on a comfy couch. This is what makes me happy now: my girls being happy. I'm just sitting upstairs, doing nothing, but I'm happy because they've got popcorn and a movie. I never realized how much a mom's state-of-mind depends on her children.

My girls are my life. Literally. My life revolves around kindergarten, gymnastics, dance, story times, and tickle-fests in the living room. It may sound pathetic (and it is), but I have no life outside of being a mommy.

I love just being with my girls. I love planning activities that revolve around their interests. I've been told that I need to get out without my kids more often, but I so rarely want to. It's funny because as a teenager, I hated little kids. I hated babysitting. I never thought I'd be a good mom at all. But strangely enough, this "career" has been my best fit yet. I'm good at what I do. And I love it.

There are times, though, that I think about the future and I get so overwhelmed. What will I do after they start going to school full time? I've never had a job I've loved as much as raising my girls. Yet I don't want more children. Will I always look back on these precious few years and miss them? Will I always regret not appreciating it more? Will I have a third child just to make it last longer (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T LET ME DO THAT!!!).

I used to think that my life was put on hold for the time I'm raising my girls. I always pictured it as an interruption, only to continue on once the girls get to school. Now I'm afraid that this is the only real part of my life, that it's the other part that's an interruption (other than glorious wealthy retirement.....if at all possible). I've defined myself as a mom and can't seem to figure out anymore what else I am. I'm happy as a mom, but what does that mean for me three years down the road when K's in first grade?

What do you go on to do, once those sweet early years are over? The thing I was best at is nearing an end...I know I'll always be a mom, but it is different when they're gone from 8-4.

For now, my girls are happily watching The Jungle Book with their juice and popcorn. They've got their whole life ahead of them. And they're happy. So I am, too....for now.

The bathroom

Okay, so here's our bathroom re-do. :) It was a nightmare at first. The guy doing the work (we'll call him "M") did a great job, but he worked SLOWLY. And the guy who owned the company ("S") kept pulling him off for other jobs. Our bathroom was demolished by Monday and he never showed up on Tuesday. After multiple attempts to reach him, D finally did. He found out he had been at another work site all day. ?????
So Wednesday comes around and it's close to noon (when he was supposed to be here by 8 a.m.). I had called both M and S about ten times each and neither was answering. So I left two voicemails that I will always be proud of. I was so angry and let them know it, ending the messages by saying that if I didn't hear back within two hours, their tools would be on our front step and we would find someone else to finish the job. Now, most contractors wouldn't have cared that much, but we had only paid them a fraction of the price and there was NO way they would have gotten any more money. So within an hour of the phone call, M was at our house working. And from that moment, he did an awesome job. He showed up at our house around 8:30 every morning and even stayed until 8 p.m. M never took breaks or lunch times, either. He was actually a really nice guy, and he did a great job on the bathroom. He literally ran up and down the steps every time he had to cut tile outside. No joke. I actually saw him trip once because he tried to take 3 steps at a time. Needless to say, I laughed. So, the bathroom is done, and we love it. Here are some pictures of before/during/after.

The original problem: water damage, exposed because D pushed straight through the wall while cleaning the shower.




D's demo job, which revealed a satellite nest of well fed carpenter ants. The dark spots are the spray that led to their demise.




Before the wall was pushed back:




Starting to take shape:




The seat:




Done!!! It's a foot longer and 3-4 inches wider. With a cute little shelf and seat, too! :)











And the floor was redone as well to match:




And for good measure, my sweet E on gym day at school.

Our bathroom

I'm so ready to put a before and after picture of our bathroom. It should be done by this afternoon.....
But we'll see.

For Lauren

Since Lauren likes pictures. :)
The many faces of K. These pictures were taken three seconds apart. Please note the puffy eye from a bug bite. :)





K says "Hi Lauren. Bye Lauren. Thank you."