Random Thoughts

Today has been long.

I can never go fully green, because I love out-of-season produce too much. I'm eating a nectarine as I write this, and recently finished off $8 worth of raspberries. Honest-to-God raspberries. Delicious.

My body hurts from this pregnancy. A lot. Thank goodness tomorrow is my day off from the gym. I want to collapse in a jacuzzi. Instead, I'll sit on a hard bench at ballet. Oh well. It'll feel better than the elliptical.

Testing my blood four times a day hasn't been that bad. I hate to admit it, but it's been pretty enlightening. I never realized how many carbohydrates I ate in a day. A conservative estimate would be about 8 billion.

I was moody with the kids today and I hate when I'm like that. They must wonder which mommy they'll get on a certain day. That's no way to parent. I'm really trying to get better, but I must admit, this pregnancy is taking a lot out of me lately and it's hard to be patient and upbeat.

I have some cute pictures of the kids, but don't feel like putting in the effort to upload them on here. Some great shots from Christmas in CT, but I'm way too lazy.

For my after-dinner snack (when I don't have to test my blood for 12 hours), I had both a nectarine and a jello chocolate mousse cup. So good. It's amazing how I won't even touch something like a cupcake or ice cream anymore. And because I have to do this for the rest of my pregnancy, it could very well become a habit. Ten weeks of avoiding refined starches and sugars could really set me up to better eating for good. Can't really complain about that.

I hate having to go to the gas station.

My house is messy, but not trashed. But it's irritating seeing all that stuff on the counter. I could clean, but I just can't get up right now.

The dog just got her hair cut and she looks like a giant rat.

I opened the pancake mix for the girls tonight and saw bugs in the box. Seriously. Bugs. I didn't even recognize them. That's probably the nastiest thing I've ever found in my kitchen. Guess I should seal that up better from now on. Needless to say, the remainder of the mix went straight to the outside trash. Ewwwwwwwwwww......

I'm wondering if I'm crazy for planning a natural drug-free childbirth for a baby that is almost expected to be over ten pounds. I wonder if I could actually do it. I act tough, but really I'm pretty wimpy and unsure of myself most of the time.

D just bought me some bigger-sized maternity clothes as a surprise and it made me cry. I told him it was the most thoughtful thing he could have done. I had been yanking my shirts down over my giant baby belly for a while. Strange that I have to wear a size large maternity shirt.

I'm grumpy today. Really really grumpy.

Our town is so well lit that I drove most of the way home tonight without realizing my headlights were off.

I could really use a steamer right now. You know those drinks that are just steamed milk and flavoring? So good. Starbucks makes a good one.

Blessed

Every once in a while, something makes me stop and realize I am blessed. I have a wonderful life that I did nothing to deserve. I have an amazing husband who I could not imagine living a day without. I have two beautiful girls who are sweet, healthy, smart, and wonderful little creatures who may drive me nuts sometimes, but who I love more than anything else in the world. I have a little boy who will be born in a few short months who I already love so much. I can't wait to kiss his sweet tiny newborn mouth and hold my cheek against his.
I know I will not appreciate my life every day and there will be days that I want to run away and hide, but today is not one of them. Today, I can see clearly. I am blessed.